I’ve been riding a high for three weeks, happy in my own Buti Yoga bubble. But nowadays, it takes some serious effort to stay in a bubble for too long because there are so many issues that need our attention and action. And this is exactly what spurred my retreat from this blog about a year and a half ago. All the news that felt way more important than me and my tiny ass soap box. But what this Buti rEVOLUTION has taught me is that expressing authenticity is needed for healing. This is the devotion I am offering to myself, to remain vulnerable toward my healing, even when it feels like the world is ending.
I haven’t been able to pin down my thoughts but I have become very familiar with this feeling. I feel confused…first because it is so easy to put myself in the shoes of the children being separated from their parents at the US border. My parents are from El Salvador. You know, the country that Trump seems to think only produces rapists, murderers and animals…. Oh a shit holes? (I can’t keep up.) Anyway, my warm, hard-working, humble parents came here with the hopes of a better future for the kids they did not have yet. But I can only imagine if I was already incarnated and the disgusting thought of going to a new country and being torn from Mami’s arms. No fucking words. And then I think about my privilege and how my parents’ decision to come here positioned me to even be able to revel in a bubble for three weeks. I am a college educated US citizen and the world is my oyster (or at least that’s what it feels like on most days). And at the same time I feel helpless when all that I seem to be doing lately is giving money and calling strangers on the phone. Yes, I know that is part of the action but what I really want to do is hold, rock and cry with the babies.
Well, today, I am offering myself a miracle. Now that I have documented my feelings and I have moved my body to move the sadness (#internationalyogaday), and I have meditated on this (yep, in the middle of writing this post) I am realizing that in the end, this is moving all of us toward love. When was the last time I thought about the immigrant groups doing the hard work? When was the last time I donated to immigration lawyers? When was the last time I really got into touch with the sacrifices my parents have given? When was the last time we as a country banned together for the kids? Does humanity require tragedy to wake us up? I think at this point we still do. But we are getting better together and I am honored to be on this journey with you guys.
The miracles is always there if you bring the darkness to the light. This is my devotion.
Before I reach my high, my mind's eye has got to be free.
(actually, the whole album is my life mantra)