So you may not want to hear this but stick with me… in order to have a holistic relationship we need to embrace our feminine which includes being more respectful of our man’s thoughts, encouraging his potential and maybe putting a little more effort into our look for him — wait, I know how all that sounds. I went to an all girl school where feminism was pretty much a given, went on to college to co-found a Latina support group and ran a clothing line who’s central message was women empowerment. I know how to do that woman power thang pretty well. But with an over emphasis on this side of my identity, there's been an imbalance. I’ve attempted to suppress my femininity in the name of feminism.
Some of the suggestions Marianne Williamson proposed in the Aphrodite Training can seem a bit out-dated to us, but if you can keep your head and heart open you’ll see, like I have, that embracing this femininity in us is how we’re going to start feeling more balanced in our relationships. And since relationships provide the space where your sexuality and spirituality meet, we can agree that we’re at least willing to hear Aphrodite out.
How does this quote resonate with you?
“A man’s greatest psychic craving is that his thoughts be respected and a women’s greatest psychic craving is that her feelings be cherished.” - Pat Allen
I can definitely relate to the importance of having my feelings cherished so I was willing to at least consider that it’s important for men’s thoughts to be respected. If we’re really trying to live our spirituality and we’ve accepted that we can only get back the energy that we put into something, then in order to cultivate a relationship where our feelings are respected by our partners, we need to also respect their thoughts. This does not mean that we mindlessly agree with everything he says and never state our thoughts, but it does mean that we handle their thoughts with the same sensitivity and awareness we’d like with our feelings handled by them. We know how painful it feels when our feelings are disrespected. If we can keep this in mind so that we don’t inflict the same pain in regard to his thoughts, we will create a relationship that feels safe for everyone.
The same principle applies when encouraging the highest potential in our men. Marianne Williamson reminds us that men and women, in heterosexual and homosexual relationships, possess both masculine and feminine energies. In a balanced relationship, one person is responsible for bringing more of the masculine or the feminine. Masculine energy is about doing and feminine energy is about being. Because the nature of spirituality is concerned with our being, our feminine energy serves the purpose in the relationship of helping men reach their higher selves. In doing so, we are embodying our higher selves as well. Marianne also points out that the point of relationships is to bring us happiness. So if we literally pray for our man’s happiness everyday, we’ll also be receiving that same energy in return. You don’t have to be enlightened yet to accept that happy people make other people happy.
You may still be a little skeptical on the last point I made… putting more effort into our looks, so let me elaborate. I think this might only speak to some but it speaks to me so thought I’d share. Marianne Williamson talked about how she used to look down on her mom because she always made an effort to look her best for her dad when he got home from work. In retrospect, knowing what she knows about Aphrodite, she now realizes that this did actually help her parents have a healthier relationship. The idea of looking your best for the one person that you’re sharing your life with is not that crazy of an idea. Again, it doesn’t mean that you can’t relax and feel beautiful regardless of what you’re wearing but we can’t deny that we feel better when we’ve made an effort, however that looks to you. And when we feel better, we show up better in our relationships.
I’m a fan of lists and practical tips but when talking about Aphrodite’s energy, there’s no way she can be summed up neatly in bullet points. These three points are only a few ways that we can start awakening the Aphrodite in us so that we can heal our relationships. Some of you might be wondering why it seems as if women have to carry the burden of healing the relationship when a relationship consists of two people. Although I’m not too clear on why women are to initiate this shift, I do get the sense that whoever is resonating with this information from the Aphrodite Training is wanting to heal some aspect of themselves and their relationship. Since I accept and believe that we must be the change we wish to see, we have to get on with it.
And do you know what happens when we embody our femininity more? It frees up our men (or partners) to occupy their masculinity more. The balancing and healing of the relationship helps create an environment where our men will cherish our feelings and match our effort, both in style and in the relationship. It’s also a place where our highest potential can emerge. And if occupying more of your Aphrodite energy doesn’t bring that out in your partner, you'll be guided by God to handle that as needed, whether it means staying or going.
This training has allowed me to see that asking deeper questions, especially when it comes to healing relationships, leads to deeper answers. Marianne Williamson says that instead of asking how we can heal our relationships, that we instead embody Aphrodite as best we can and be humble enough to ask for God’s help in doing so. Since our egos are running most of the show, we tend only to ask ego-based questions and therefore come to ego-based conclusions, especially when it comes to love. And since Aphrodite is more about being than doing, we need to be asking ourselves “who do I need to be in this relationship?” The compartmentalization of your life then is no longer needed because you recognize that spirituality is supposed to serve as a foundation for your entire life, including your relationship and sexuality.
I can make you put your phone down
So you can show me attention
And I'll cut mine off too
Boy that'll help when I listen
I can make you put your phone down